Monday, May 28, 2007


Today used to be my Mom's birthday.
She was my Mother, my best friend and I was hers.
My role model. I tried to have the same values she had.
Sometimes she had ambivilant feelings about being
a Mom. But, when it counted. She was always there
for me. I think she tried to be the Mother,
she wished she could have had.
She died in 1971. And I miss her every day.
The fields of 'Always Summer'
where the blue cornflowers
forever grow,
The gentle air wafts the
fragrant daisies
And the scented pinks to and fro.
Everything we ever wanted,
everyone that we have known.
Are waiting there to greet us
now that time has flown.
Yes, in this place of 'always ever'.
In brightness, joy, and grace.
Is where we go, 'at end of day'.
T'is the place we abide
after the turmoil of this side.
Open meadows of grass and flowers,
Through which we dance,
celebrate and play.
Orchards full of trees in
both fruit and flower
Create a glorious bower,
a setting for loving Greetings
of those we have missed,
They rejoice to see us,
at last in exquisite bliss.

Friday, May 18, 2007



Saturday, May 12, 2007


I haven't talked about my dolls for awhile. I was trying to be more circumspect with sharing them. But here is one story about a doll.
This is one of my big lady dolls. She is 24" tall. One of the last of my very tall dolls. After her I began to reduce the size. I also used a different head style. It has less needle sculpting. She came out completely different looking. The Clothing style is based on the Edwardian Period from the beginning of the 20th. Century. I made her in 1993. That was also when I had first started to work for a local Conroy's Flowers. I had been talking about my doll making and the dolls I had made. So, the other floral designers asked me to bring in one or two of my dolls to show them. Now, I am usually very careful when it comes to sharing what I do, to people outside. But, I always try to be optimistic. Silly me, I said, "oh, if you are really interested". They said, " yes". Later that week I brought in my newest doll I had told them about. I had set her on a back counter out of the way, so everyone could see her. I had told them, don't expect something like Barbie doll or anything like a porcelain repro doll.. I don't make idealized model type fashion dolls. Mine are all one of a kind and they have a lot of character. Well, they were most polite and they found things about my doll to compliment. The quality, the size, the professional look. How nicely made. The lovely clothes. She must have been a lot fun to make. I just left the doll there until I had a break to take her to my car.
Then it was time for us to get busy. We three designers were arranging away.
Timothy our youngest delivery guy came back. He walked in and started to check in, when he looked up and saw my doll.
He blurted out loud, "my @@d that is the ugliest doll I've ever seen. Where did this ugly doll come from?". "Jeez, but she is really awful, etc." Cathleen, Lenore and John all looked at me to see my reaction.
I just turned around and very blandly said to the kid, "Those remarks have to be the most diplomatic, sensitive I ever heard. It was so kind and genteel of you to be so conscious of the person's sensibilities, to couch your observations in such thoughtful terms." The other three, just sort of gaped at me. The kid wasn't quite sure what I just said. But, he began to catch on he had made a terrific gaff. He then asked, Who made that thing?"
Cathleen turned to him, pointed to me and replied, "She did. We asked her to show us one of her dolls."
(The kid thought to himself I'm dead, I'm fired.) He looked at me and asked, "You did?."
"Yes." I said. Now it didn't hurt my feelings, such a thing was not unexpected, because I had to consider the source.
He is somewhat deminished to start with. He had suffered a head injury at one time and it damaged his impluse control part of the brain. (and no of course he didn't get fired. Only Chuck or John could do that. But, he did learn to be more careful what he said. Sometimes.)
It was somewhat of my own fault. I never should have brought any of my dolls to share. After that, I only brought in some photos. Not that my dolls are pearls. They are more like Baroque pearls.
I have put my dolls in shows and competions and won ribbons. Including one big purple one.
My dolls keep me company and make me happy. Because all of my dolls are pretty and are smiling.

Friday, May 11, 2007


I have gotten off stride again. Can't sew. Can't focus enough. So, I bought this copy of the Jennifer Chiaverini quilt stories book. I found I had read the first book. But not the other two. Oh, they are ok. It's about women getting together and doing woman things. I do not quilt. Don't want to, tried it once. Can you believe it? I found it too tedious! But, I have a complete appreciation for the high artistry, talent and skill. One can not call it work. Not when there is so much of the person in each quilt. It is wonderful. Such a great means of creative artistic expression. And infinite patience. When I attend a quilt show I am always just overwhelmed by the incredible variety and gloriousness of the quilts. It just takes my breath away.
But, I'm not up to it. However, making a 5 1/2" 18 piece felt doll, That will be completely jointed. I can do. And then making a dress and underwear that buttons and can be taken on and off. The head alone has 5 pieces and is 7/8ths inches long.
I became stalled on the fifth little horse I was making. I am hoping by the time I finish the book. I will be able to concentrate better and finish the poor thing.
However, the quilt book stories are quite nice.
Because at least they are about sewing something. Doing handwork.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


My Mom never got to attend college. That is what so very extra special. You see, because of the Depression. Neither of my parents went to college. In fact they weren't able to even finish High school. They both had had dreams of obtaining higher education. But, because of economic situations, it was it was not to be. So, I was the first one in my immediate family to ever attend college. My older brother did finish high school. But, my younger brother just became so frustrated that he quit in his sophomore year. Turns out that years later, through my oldest nephew, I found out we all had DYSLEXIA. Not Mom. It was inherited from my Dad's side of the family. Plagued all the boys through school. Three of them finished high school and went to college. But, two didn't. However those two did make it to pass the GEDs.
It was lovely. Mom stayed a week with me. I wish she could have stayed longer. But, we both were concerned that there could to be gossip.

I am going to do a separate entry about my parents.
Very interesting.

Friday, May 4, 2007


One of the classes in University I took as part of my Art Curricula was Pottery -Ceramics. it was a serious class. The Instructor , besides teaching ceramic techniques in working with clay, All types of clay. But included in the class, a sort of necessary science of mixing and creating various glazes. We, the students I mean, all made several types of objects of clay. I made three 'pinch pots'. Everyone who starts out does this. We were then able to go and make some things that were more complicated. I made a three sided vase and a tri sided fairy light for my Mom. All I have left are the three small 'pots'. I cherish them because, that semester, my Mom drove the nine hours by herself to come and to be with me for awhile. The girlfriend I had grown up with, and I and another young woman at this time were renting a three bedroom house. Really nice. Two baths. So plenty of room. My room had twin beds.
I was Mom's only friend and my Kid brother was being a real brat. And fighting constantly with Mom and Dad. I was glad Mom had somewhere she could go.
She came during the week and I had classes to attend. I did not want her to have to stay by herself. So, I called the college and told them about it and asked them if I could have her come to my classes with me. They said certainly. Just inform the instructor as I went in. The teacher was surprised to see someone who was so close to her Mother. One of the classes was my Ceramics Class. Mom got to see me working. I made two pieces later for Mom. One was a fairy light. The other was a vase. Those were later destroyed an 1 year old nephew. In another art class, I introduced her to my favorite instructor, Anna Ballarian. Mom really enjoyed going with me. It was very nice that Mom got to see me attending college. She felt really a part of it. As though she was attending school along with me.
So, I keep the silly looking pots as a loving memoir of that time.

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Did you see in the news last week?

That a planet with water,

was spotted out there.
Circling a Red Dwarf.
It is relativly close. Only 120 trillion
miles away! 581_c

Makes me think of the

Darkover series by Marion Z. Bradley.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007


One year at our country school. We had a Maypole. Rachel was teaching that semester. She was always fun. and looked for things that would be fun and interesting. Not like Phoebe. She only taught straight curricula.
We did always make little May baskets out of woven paper. And picked wildflowers (weeds) from the school yard.
I remember we had the pole, set up in the front school yard. We had crepe paper streamers that were attached to the top. it was a tall pole. Very likely a pine sapling. It would have been from Dad or Mr. Lorenzen. A hole was dug in the ground for it. The men and the big boys erected it. The anticipation of having a Maypole. was exciting. We all looked forward to the day.
Rachel had found the words to a May song and taught us the song and the dance. She had found them in a teacher's magazine. We spent most of April after Easter learning how to do everything. We had the picnic party during the day at school. All of we girls wore dresses that day. So it was pretty. Even my the boys liked it. It was neat, different and fun. But, that was the only one. Because: it was too much bother and besides, it may have been too pagan!? I am not sure. But, it just might be we were older and it was too much bother. Back east and the midwest did that all the time. No one anywhere celebrates May First that anymore.
In the few years we had left there, we did have May baskets and exchanged them. We all made baskets for our Mothers too.
I wish my memory wasn't so vague. Because it is a nice memory.